I wish

I had

a dick.

they all like

to lick

Penis envy

Freud would say

but I just want

to whip it out

and piss

Standing up

for just a day.

Know why I have to


my balls

or make a cat call

just kidding

not a creep

after all


Watch it shrink

after swimming

in an ice rink

or use

that mind

to think.

But my favorite color

is pink

I love how my skin folds

Protects my soul,

greatest secret

my lips haven’t told.



Steals glances

Commands attention

like the sun


She’ll make you

laugh, and show

great fun


A warning must

be made, bitterness

to the lemonade


She’ll set your heart

on fire, fullfill

your pant’s desire


But oh baby

she’s a liar

Tongue unleashes fire


She’s a viper

love lethal

poison attack


Don’t turn your

back if you want

a fighting chance


Everything trouble

but you’ll just want

her double


Forget the performance

in bed, and think

with your head.





He never loved

me and he

showed it all

the time


Left me hanging

high and dry.

Left my questions



I cried maybe

half the time

in between sobs

asking why why why


It started to become

clear but sex was

good so it kept

me near


Rotation of women

Invited to his room

he couldn’t even keep

a count


I wrote sad poems

and cried

while I made

them rhyme


Always had eyes on

all other women

around persuing them

without care


So I’d go home

with a frown wonder

what was wrong

with me


Coffee not sweet?

Chicken not right?

Not good enough for

the night?


Until one day

I was sick of

only him enjoying

the ride


Truth be told

I came maybe 1 out

of 10 times, by my

hand to satisfy


He never loved

me but I do

did and

always will


So with men like

that, I’ve learned to

close the door. Ladies

just say no to manwhores.