Shallow/depths

Shallow/depths

I wish I could
be seen
inside
out

Maybe it’d be easier
to see the complexities

you would see
how much
I’m covered
in cobwebs
commonly known
as anxiety.

I have scars
inside
and out
You’d see
jagged wounds
that never properly
healed.
The outside is scarred
by neurosis,
I compulsively
pick
at anything
that doesn’t belong.
I scratch off scabs
I hate
the way they feel
and look,
rough
I pick
searching for new skin
to be seen.

I force myself
to embrace
my bare face
my version
of aversion therapy.
Last week
I wore my armor,
make up
But when I glazed
in the mirror
I didn’t recognize myself

I love my ninja turtle shirt
just as much as my maxi dress
love flip flops
just as much as stilettos
Neither defines me.

My imperfections
are magnified
in my eyes

and it’s always relative
you never appreciate
the present enough
till it’s the future

If I’m inside
out
you’ll see my fat
just hanging
in all it’s flabby
glory
not hidden
under black clothing
or
forgiving fabrics.

If only you’d see me
my muscle tendons
stringy like red yarn
instead of my
involuntary vanilla complexion,
my genes decided to arbitrarily
adhere to European
standards of beauty
without my permission
I’ve heard confessions
admiring my Casper complexion
“Todo te queda bien con tu piel”
Everything looks good with your
skin tone
admissions of colonized mentalities
“You don’t look Peruvian”
as if they had seen
all the millions of us
because when I walked around
in Lima
I saw a bunch of my clones,
my Peruvian people recognized
me as their own.
“You’re too pretty to be Peruvian”
Instantly degrading
devaluing Indigenous
and African beauty
which is my real make up
I’m sure my bones
have etched on them
the entire Andes mountain
range
and my heart
beats to the rhythm of el cajon.

I wish you could see me
as I see you
inside,out
all it takes
is a look of the eyes
The cliche holds true
The glaze of envy
that for your own sake
I hope is temporary
the narrow minded
the angry glint
of ignorance
but
I’m comforted when I meet
kindness
compassion
and general goodness.

I wish I was inside out
see my soul
the color it is
I’ve always been fond of pink
maybe the soul is the aura
of the heart

That’s the part of me
I really wish you could see
how vulnerable
and sensitive
it beats.

Colca kismet

Colca kismet

Andes construct
The landscape
Of my dreams.
Imprinted in my
Soul’s memory
Carvings on
The stone of destiny
Markings of an
Everlasting journey.

Spirit awoken
From slumber
Like
Gentle
Rolling
Thunder.
Released from
The cacophony
Of a disassociated self.

Clarity of consciousness
Like
Constellations
Painted on clear skies
And the
Crescent moon Nearby.

Hundreds of
rock offerings
Lead to
Magisterial mountains
Recounting the
Spinning of the
Threads of
The map inside our
Heads.

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Recuerda

Recuerda

La ñusta me despertó
Suspiro eres
hija del sol.
Regresa a tu hogar
Cerca al rio
que se deriva al mar.
Regresa a tu templo
que admira el sol
Protegida de todo mal.
Las montañas y nubes
se besan
Testigos del matrimonio
de la luna y sol.
Duerme al compass
de los pájaros.
Las flores te guían
Sube
Sube
Aun es temprano
el sol no ha
aparecido
El
los espejos
miras al sol
y miras a ti
Eres esposa del Inca
Regresa a tu trono
Regresa a tu reino.

Machu Picchu

Machu Picchu

Riding on the wings
of a condor
I returned home
to lush green
splendor
to this mountain retreat
I surrender.
The sundial marking the time
Inti showing only
a reflection on the Earth
Practicing the same ritual
of being a priestess
since birth.
Fortress of agricultural riches
Rainbow present at the marriage
of the moon and sun
Stars aligned
as the calendar predicted.
The birds sing the chorus
while the Urumbamba river
keeps the beat
Chewing on the coca
Pachamama’s blessing
cloudy mountain mist
the perfect backdrop.
Overseeing the ceremony
for them to be wed
Inca adorned in royalty red
Puma at his feet
protecting the ruler’s seat
Snake rising above the ground
The Andean cross trinity
The sun and moon
united for infinity
Machu Picchu
the remnant of a
civilization’s divinity.

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Mecca

Mecca

I dreamed of

Machu Picchu

the voices of

my ancestors

calling to my soul

evoking past life

memories.

Royalty, daughter

of the sky

standing by

mama ocllo’s side.

Constructed our

masterpieces in

stone

Regal and adorned

in gold. Our empire

vast and wide

We lived on top

of the mountains

civilization on the rise

Inti nuturing

the land

cultivated to feed

all

of

its

people

no hunger

observing the cosmos

masters in astrology.

Protective mist, shield

against the ignorance

and the weapons

they would wield.

green serenity

time escapes in

temple of the sun

Inca’s sanctuary

for fun.

wonder

just

wonder

If they never came

Quechua would

fountain flow

from our mouths

but history weighs,

colossal structure

now slowly

descending back

to Earth.

When this life

cycle ends, send

my ashes back

My spirit knows

the way.