Shallow/depths

Shallow/depths

I wish I could
be seen
inside
out

Maybe it’d be easier
to see the complexities

you would see
how much
I’m covered
in cobwebs
commonly known
as anxiety.

I have scars
inside
and out
You’d see
jagged wounds
that never properly
healed.
The outside is scarred
by neurosis,
I compulsively
pick
at anything
that doesn’t belong.
I scratch off scabs
I hate
the way they feel
and look,
rough
I pick
searching for new skin
to be seen.

I force myself
to embrace
my bare face
my version
of aversion therapy.
Last week
I wore my armor,
make up
But when I glazed
in the mirror
I didn’t recognize myself

I love my ninja turtle shirt
just as much as my maxi dress
love flip flops
just as much as stilettos
Neither defines me.

My imperfections
are magnified
in my eyes

and it’s always relative
you never appreciate
the present enough
till it’s the future

If I’m inside
out
you’ll see my fat
just hanging
in all it’s flabby
glory
not hidden
under black clothing
or
forgiving fabrics.

If only you’d see me
my muscle tendons
stringy like red yarn
instead of my
involuntary vanilla complexion,
my genes decided to arbitrarily
adhere to European
standards of beauty
without my permission
I’ve heard confessions
admiring my Casper complexion
“Todo te queda bien con tu piel”
Everything looks good with your
skin tone
admissions of colonized mentalities
“You don’t look Peruvian”
as if they had seen
all the millions of us
because when I walked around
in Lima
I saw a bunch of my clones,
my Peruvian people recognized
me as their own.
“You’re too pretty to be Peruvian”
Instantly degrading
devaluing Indigenous
and African beauty
which is my real make up
I’m sure my bones
have etched on them
the entire Andes mountain
range
and my heart
beats to the rhythm of el cajon.

I wish you could see me
as I see you
inside,out
all it takes
is a look of the eyes
The cliche holds true
The glaze of envy
that for your own sake
I hope is temporary
the narrow minded
the angry glint
of ignorance
but
I’m comforted when I meet
kindness
compassion
and general goodness.

I wish I was inside out
see my soul
the color it is
I’ve always been fond of pink
maybe the soul is the aura
of the heart

That’s the part of me
I really wish you could see
how vulnerable
and sensitive
it beats.

Birthright

Birthright

Please give me
another term
because what
I’m observing
is best described
as absurd

I am
first generation
born and bred
in the good ol’
U.S. of A.
I’ll be quick
to say
Te amo Peru
but
it doesn’t stop
my heart
from beating
red
white
and blue.

Walls are built
at the border
to establish
so called order.
Illegal aliens
are invading
but the skies
are clear.
They are people
undocumented
not thieves
El Chapo
or rapists
as stereotypes
would have you
believe.

I am
an anchor baby,
parents surviving
on 25 cent yogurts
bare floors
as a mattress
working
working
working
manual labor
lost in translation
being their Sacajawea
their motivating force
sacrificing their all
so we can have the most.

Immersed
to the culture,
celebrating the 4th
of July
waiting for fireworks
to illuminate the sky
1st place in the Geography bee
stretchy pants
for an all you can eat
Thanksgiving feast,
Deep roots in the Garden state
Proud Scarlet Knight
R.U. all day
Competitive
driven to succeed
defying the odds
23 with a master’s degree
paying it forward
teaching children
to be all
that they can be
my subject is Spanish
so it’s
que paso
dale
si se puede
bridging the gap
to prevent
ignorance
the chance to attack.

I am the
American Dream
exercising my free speech
holding steadfast
to the pursuit
of happiness
life
and liberty.

A song

A song

But not of desperation

instead

it’s a fight to believe

in the American dream

that I was raised with.

Physicians are in the position

to make life or death decisions

or if they even want to listen

to your symptoms.

we are all sick

with chronic limiting beliefs

pained with bills

and bills

and bills

making us ill

driving to kill

it’s dog eat dog.

We are suffering from

blurred visions

our dreams hiding

behind perpetual fog.

Yes we are sick

with food poisoning

Gmos

that companies blame on

UFOs.

meat infused with

growth hormones

dollar menus

causing

heart disease

diabetes

cancer

leaving

patients popping

pharmacy pill prescriptions.

Organic supermarket

fed by the rich

to make revenue

But inequality

and inequity

are not new

to this venue.

This country was built

by slaves

No one giving two fucks

about the lives

they gave.

We are sick

sick

sick

But America

you can still be beautiful

from the Redwood forests

to purple magic mountain majesty,

the fight is not over

nor the struggle to be free

Yes America

I’m fighting to believe

looking for a cure

for my symptoms

to be relieved.

Role

Role

A Superficial society
Sets the standard with
Brazilian waxes,
squats
To get bigger asses
Because the world
Doesn’t see us
With rose colored
Glasses.

No such thing as
A hairy cutie.
Women should be
Hairless
otherwise
About you
they’ll careless.
Bareskin pussies
Makes for hot stock
If you don’t have it
Expect to get dropped
And forget about getting
A rock.

Beauty over brains
Because then it’s easier
To hold the reigns.
Marriage,
modern day Prostuition
sometimes permitted by
The constitution.

Trophies
Accessories to a sports car
Set to compete
With the fabricated
Image of stars.
Need to be seen
With a bad bitch
Who does all the
Latest porn star tricks
To fulfill
Relentless sexual fix.

I will not conform
To look uniform
Like a botched Barbie
I am not a toy
Are you still a
Little boy?
I am not plastic
If you see me naked
every inch is
Fucking fanstastic.

I am enough
When my skin
Is rough
or
If my toes are
Unpolished
tough
or
Have a pimple
Ready to erupt

I am what I choose
No need for approval
To Feel beautiful
Whether young or old
Feel it
Regardless of what you are
Told.
Break the mold
You are worth
Your weight in gold.

Experience

Experience

Rain
drenched
clothes.
Pigeons at church
Bell tower mass

Pavement bouncing
with wounded words
thrown at children
absurd
I testify
against injustice.

mom and pop are
closing shop
chains and chains
attack
straws on
broken backs.

Anyone hiring?
Window shopping
just admiring
Cycle conditions
are tiring.

Unity and scrutiny
will restore
the purity.

Voice is my choice
Simple like
how morning grass
is moist.
Not time to fear
The struggle is here.

Transformation

Transformation

I
was voiceless
but my body
was screaming
revolting.
Mind
drew
blank
Retreated
after the
attack.
Once friend
now foe
Role playing a pimp
and Marilyn Monroe
famously labeled a whore.
but she also said stop
likewise we were ignored
pounded for more
and more.

Victim blaming is part
of the culture game
“Some just rape easy”
is what disconnected
power leaders say,
those rules I refuse to obey.
The use of alcohol stimulates
or if we were already intimate
did not make me a willing participant,
if you don’t consider it legitimate
you’re a hypocrite.

Cannot comprehend
the mental imprisonment
constant cognitive dissonance
that you can’t even
begin to articulate

Staying vigilant
feeling impotent
nightmare reruns
of the incident.
Robbed of my innocence
Know
I am one of millions
Happening every 2 minutes
facts
you can’t refute.

I was voiceless
but now
boisterous
Born again from
suffering.
wounds
will
heal,
my dignity
you cannot steal.

Initiating a change
so no one ever
lays down
broken
from pain.

Love in every
action
prevents
traumatic reactions.

Battle Cry

Battle Cry

I’m facing zeroes
Knowing I’m my only Hero.
Back against the wall
Hope
Microscopic small
The way it’s always been
for as long as
I can recall.

The powers that be
Don’t give a shit
About me.
Choking on cheap checks
That bounce
banks charge
An overdraft fee
When I got no fucking
Money

Dollars only seem to know
Subtraction
Getting paid in fractions
Gives me no satisfaction

Held Captive
Becoming adaptive
And reactive.
while
The masses sit
Passive
Distracted by the media,
We are suffering from
Cultural anemia.

the rich get richer
And poor and get poorer
Has been said countless
Times before
But what will it take to
Go to war?
we’re already fighting
for Just
a couple bucks more

A revolution
The solution
To eliminate
Economic pollution.
It starts with
Poems that kill
Written in Amiri’s
Poetic will.
The call for leaders
Who stand tall
Like cedars.

If you aren’t Causing
Waves Of change
Then you’re the root
Of why the problem
Remains.