Amy Amy Amy

No you weren’t good
You are the best.
In trouble
But you weren’t the type
To be saved.

Voice echoing
The irrevocable
highs
And
Lows.
voice
Paints with
Every emotion’s
Color.
Your music
the soundtrack
To each of my
Heart
Breaks.

I always
Find myself
Waking up alone,
Suffering the abuse
From alcohol.
Searching for
The elusive he.
He that can hold us
He that is
stronger than us
that Will love us
tomorrow
And after that.
He that will bond
An everlasting we.
I want to know him
And what it’s like
To love him.

I knew once
What it’s like to
Love from the soul
And what it felt
Like to have your heart
stole
the lesson learned is
Tears dry on their own,
With most men
It’s best to
Just be friends.

Because
Love Is a losing game
And each battle
I’ve lost.
Still hoping
To one day
Win the war.

Your songs
Nectar for my soul
Endless repetition of your
tracks
Although you faded to black
Amy, I just want you back

Thoughts

Demons
Feed on
Fear.

Doubt cloaks
Perspective
Seek within

Refuge
from The
whispers

Sinister speak
Slipping swirl
Superficial surface

Reflecting, perfecting
The journey
Of discovery

Transformation

I
was voiceless
but my body
was screaming
revolting.
Mind
drew
blank
Retreated
after the
attack.
Once friend
now foe
Role playing a pimp
and Marilyn Monroe
famously labeled a whore.
but she also said stop
likewise we were ignored
pounded for more
and more.

Victim blaming is part
of the culture game
“Some just rape easy”
is what disconnected
power leaders say,
those rules I refuse to obey.
The use of alcohol stimulates
or if we were already intimate
did not make me a willing participant,
if you don’t consider it legitimate
you’re a hypocrite.

Cannot comprehend
the mental imprisonment
constant cognitive dissonance
that you can’t even
begin to articulate

Staying vigilant
feeling impotent
nightmare reruns
of the incident.
Robbed of my innocence
Know
I am one of millions
Happening every 2 minutes
facts
you can’t refute.

I was voiceless
but now
boisterous
Born again from
suffering.
wounds
will
heal,
my dignity
you cannot steal.

Initiating a change
so no one ever
lays down
broken
from pain.

Love in every
action
prevents
traumatic reactions.

Nightmares

I dream with

the devil

He revealed himself

to me.

No red horns or tails

He apppears as everything

you’ve ever wanted.

As harmless as a sheep

Empty promises

Tempetation filled fun

Adrenline rush

Until you’re pinned

Paralyzed

Not even a breath can escape

Your mind travels

to a far

distant

place.

Time

slows

down.

Mirror reflection

hard to face

When I dream with

the devil.

He’s taunting me

Reminding me

of reality.

 

Reflection

I once knew

Mary Sunshine

smile wide

teeth shined

 

 

There was a

giggle

in her eyes

Starlight inside

 

 

Sometimes in a

voice

so

small

 

Saying no

is such

a

fight

 

He wants me

in clothes

way too

tight

 

I feel

nothing

I do

is right

 

 

I went home

looked

in the mirror

and cried.

 

Savior

Strength, where

did you go?

I needed your

embrace today

 

My invisible

cloak, protecting

my dignity

Saving grace

 

Don’t go away

hide in an

unknown

treasure chest

 

I lose my way

easily, you’re a

guide from land

to sea

 

Strength, I need

you more than you

need me, but please

stay

 

If not

darkness

covers. can’t float

in over my head

 

Iron weights

on my chest

Can’t breathe

Can’t move

 

Can’ts. don’ts

scream in my

mind

I lose

 

Paralyzed

drowning

in tears, living

all my fears

 

 

Insomnia binds

Its fingers pry open

my eyes, nightmares

take control

 

Strength, I need you

to keep me safe

and make the monsters

go away

 

 

Magic Pill

cure to forget

shower of kisses

as we laid in

bed

 

Erase the laughter

from stories told

without

end

 

Visions of smiles

vanished away

allow me to

accept the truth

 

you’re an ill fitting

shoe, puzzle

piece that doesn’t

fit

 

 

Terrified to commit

but I love you

still

 

 

 

 

 

 

Repeat

Guitar shed

my tears

there’s none

left here

 

Ferris wheel 

love not 

enough, goes 

down 

 

 

Fool for you

Writing a poem

about the blues

questioning truth

 

What do I feel?

Rainbow of emotions

grenades at

each end

 

Trying to follow

a bread crumb

trail back

to clarity

 

 

Hoping to find

my sanity.

erase you

from memory

 

Days

Nobody am

I

yesterday

or any day

 

 

Frail like

red crepe

paper

slug low

 

Blues felt

in every

hue, flip

flop mood

 

 

Split divide 

Myself and I 

Sanity

in play

 

Green

bounce ball

off canary wall

follow me

 

 

Endless turns

Daisy, loves

me, loves

me not

 

 

Slip n slide

Rollercoaster

life, ride baby

ride.